Montessori Parenting Part I: Montessori Parenting in the World of Social Media
There is so much information available about what Montessori is or isn’t and how to parent in a Montessori way. It’s very overwhelming.
Montessori is a long standing educational philosophy that respects each child for their individual needs. And it wasn’t until recently that child development research has confirmed the things that Maria Montessori knew over 100 years ago.
I believe that this has sparked a great interest in Montessori as a parenting style and because the internet provides an easy access to sharing and finding information Montessori info is everywhere.
Gather Information About Montessori
You want to know all you can to start this Montessori journey however, your life is busy. Your mind is taxed. You want your children to be loved and supported. But you are tired. In effort to learn a lot really fast, you turn to social media.
While knowing the risks of the highlight reel that is social media you are intrigued. Here, you can find any kind of information about Montessori that you want. And lots you don’t. How do you know what to trust?
Listen to your gut.
The Desire to Create the Perfect Montessori Shelf is Unrealistic
I am trained in Montessori education for children ages 3-6. I have worked in the classroom for 10 years as an assistant and lead guide. I have a four year old daughter who was raised from the start in a Montessori way.
Yet, I get overwhelmed by the Montessori social media pages. The beauty, the large playrooms, the expensive toys look great.
I get how when you’re learning about Montessori you easily get sucked in to the perfectly curated spaces showing the best and most beautiful materials.
The items pictured are often linked and you look and see that puzzle (that may or may not interest your child but is developmentally right for her age) costs $100. Your heart sinks knowing you can’t afford that right now.
The parent guilt and fear that you are not setting your child up with the best foundation for development takes over and you feel shame.
You continue your scroll and see that in the comments section of each Montessori parent page there is always one person who claims that one very small item “Is not Montessori!”
Fear comes back. “Why try if I can’t get it right?”
The truth is your home will not look like those because you are not those people.
And the more important truth is that you don’t need to do that because the child using those materials in those photos is not your child.
Montessori is About Each Individual Child’s Needs
Montessori is individualized education. The curriculum is set but the materials are shown to the child when they are ready to learn those concepts.
Montessori parenting is no different.
The framework of how to interact with children is standard. Our spaces and lifestyles are individualized to fit the people in our family.
The beauty of Montessori parenting is that you can be who you are and add Montessori principles while meeting the individual needs of your child.
It’s perfect.
What if My Child Doesn’t Care About Montessori Materials?
My daughter is not a materials kid. She just doesn’t care.
I didn’t know that until she was a few years old. I was purchasing all these items to make materials for her. I observed when her skills were showing she was ready for each new lesson and I demonstrated the material. She would complete the lesson. I would show her again to entice her to try. She never touched the material again.
She didn’t care.
She was not interested in things like pouring, eye dropping, or sorting on the tray. It didn’t keep her interest.
But, she loves to cook and bake with us. She has since she was 1 year old. She’s eager to measure, pour, stir, and sort dry and wet ingredients. She would rather learn the concepts I was showing her through the shelf-work lessons by practically using those skills in her life.
Part of me was crushed. I love beautiful materials. Those things draw my attention and I love to use them. But my daughter does not.
This does not match what I have seen on social media. Those shelves are perfectly curated and the children are focused so intently on the work they are completing.
Those social media accounts follow Montessori.
Yet so do I. My child doesn’t need the same things as those children in the photos.
Montessori Philosophy Basics and Montessori Parenting Don’t Require Materials
So how can both lifestyles be Montessori?
Montessori is an educational pedagogy which focuses on the individual child.
Maria Montessori valued:
Exploration of the senses
Freedom of movement
Independence
Trust from adult to child
Freedom within limits
Observation
Real experiences
All of these values are applied in the classroom..
Montessori parenting uses these same principles. You don’t need beautiful materials to follow the child.
Montessori parenting is:
Following the child’s needs
Observing your child to know who they are right now
Creating boundaries to keep them safe while allowing freedom to explore within those boundaries
Exposing your child to rich experiences like nature and everyday things to show them how things work
Equipping your space with child sized items to allow independent exploration
Regulating yourself to best meet your child’s needs
Modeling for your child how to make mistakes and apologize gracefully
Allow your child the opportunity to participate in the family as a contributing member
None of those things listed require a wooden material on a shelf. Each of these requires a loving caregiver and a commitment to try your best.
And a strong resolve to ignore the Montessori internet trolls.
How To Get Started With Montessori Parenting
It can be hard to start. I am here to guide you. This blog post is part one of a series about how to get started with Montessori parenting. Check back each Friday for the newest installment.
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