Do They Repeat Things to Annoy You or Is Your Child Building Their Concentration?
So your toddler is repeating skills and activities in what seems like an obsessive way. From your perspective as a stuck-at-home parent, this cycle can be … not so fun.
But from your child’s perspective, this cycle of activity is a key to educational success—it builds deep concentration and coordination of movements, and it helps them develop a lasting understanding of how things work
My Child Is Trying to Drive Me Crazy
We are home all day and attempting to work. We hear from the other room our children turning on and off the bathroom fan. Over and over and over again.
The repetition of noise is more than we can bear and we go, in frustration, and tell them to stop. Moments later, after we’ve settled back into work, we hear the fan turn on and off again. We think, “My child is doing this to torture me!”
It’s enough to drive us to the breaking point and lose our cool.
The truth of the matter is that when our children are continuously repeating something like this, it has nothing to do with us. It has everything to do with fulfilling a need to coordinate their movements.
Practicing for Bigger Skills
Around age 15 months, children start to imitate the actions they have been observing their parents perform for many months. To successfully master these complex activities, a child must learn some preliminary exercises first.
For instance: Before they can pour a pitcher of heavy water into their glass, the child must first be able to hold the weight of the pitcher.
At this point the child is often interested in the preliminary activities themselves because they are a complete cycle of activity. Your child may begin to carry a full pitcher of water around the house and set it down and pick it up repeatedly.
“Children do these things that seem useless with great care and interest. They may seem useless to us but the child is preparing himself and learning to coordinate his movements.” — Dr. Maria Montessori
Building Concentration
While the sound of the fan turning on and off a million times is really annoying, you might also notice it's one of the few times in the day your child is occupied.
These repetitive activities allow your child to develop deeper concentration. They are developing consistency and patience. With this part of their personality developing, they are building toward being able to complete larger complex tasks.
What Do We Do?
When you observe your child beginning to repeat an activity, take a step back.
Observe the activity.
Try to determine the purpose or skill your child is seeking.
Make sure it is safe and allow it to continue.
Provide materials in your home that replicate that activity or skill for your child to practice.
When our children are in a cycle of activity, it is as if we don’t exist. The world around them has faded away and only the light switch exists. Don’t interrupt that concentration unless the activity is dangerous.
If you observe that you find the activity disruptive, such as the sound of the fan, find an alternative option that fulfills the same needs. Show your child a light switch for the closet. Tell them that is a safe place for them to use the light switch. When your child attempts to go to the fan, redirect them to the closet light switch.
When the Skill Is Mastered They Move on
You’ll find after some time that your child’s switch-flipping will stop just as abruptly as it started. When your child has mastered this skill, the interest is gone and they don’t need to practice anymore.
Ride it out. It can be trying and exhausting. Just know that your child needs this. Find ways to allow this need to be met and wait; it will pass. And take comfort in the fact that your child is building concentration that will allow for more engaged time down the road.